It's been a while since I've posted - just been plugging away and am finally enjoying spring break. It's a great feeling to know that I have less than a year until graduation now! My body did hold on to some tension during finals last week but it was tolerable and short-lived. I'm so glad the transition with the transfer to the new school went well. It was absolutely, 100% the right thing to do. I'm so much happier there! (If you don't know, I'm a graduate student studying Acupuncture & Oriental Medicine).
A lot has happened since last time I posted so let me fill you in. I had a wonderful retreat up north with my "sisters" (AKA: a few very close, dear friends). It was much needed. I came home grounded, calm, confident and clearer regarding what I want to create next in my life. The message regarding being authentic and honest with myself regarding my thoughts, feelings, words and actions has been recurring lately. More to come on this later. . .
Since disowning the "fibromyalgia" label at the beginning of the year, so many energetic shifts have happened. I had a fun psychic reading not long ago and was talking about my plans for this year - especially regarding finances and health. Her response was something like this, "Yep, you get whatever you want. That's all there is to it." It's so true! In choosing to not be a victim, setting goals, taking ACTION, and being committed, I do get what I want. What a concept. Choices, choices, choices. It's so simple, but so elusive sometimes.
The lives you and I are living today are nothing but a compilation of our choices. If you don't like your life, just start making better choices! I don't care if it's the food you're eating, the story you tell yourself about what's wrong with your life or whatever it is. If you're not 100% happy and fulfilled, start making better choices. Does your job drain you? Find a better way. Do you spend too much time around negative people? Well stop it. What is the story that keeps you stuck? Everything is connected and those choices. . . well they add up!
We're so rushed these days. Take some time to reflect. Question the answers. What are your beliefs around happiness, health, money, spirituality, etc? Why? How did they become beliefs? Are they really your beliefs or were you told to believe that way and it became an unquestioned habit? Pick a topic and explore. It's an invaluable process, aiding in exponential self growth opportunities. Solitude and reflection are precious gifts.
Here's a little story about reactive thinking. I got an email a while back from my son's teacher that said he was taking too long on his math tests and is getting bad grades because he wasn't finishing them. She went on to say that he's good at math, knows the material well and gets the right answers when he focuses. It instantly struck me as ironically funny. She emails me concerned and frustrated about his math grades and in the same sentence says he knows the material well. My comment to her was: "My first thought is that if he knows the material, he's good to go. No problem. I understand tests are hoops that students have to jump through and that's just how the system works, but it seems illogical to imply that he's not doing well in math even though he knows math, but simply isn't focusing on tests. We should clarify that your concerns seem to be regarding testing skills not math."
I know he's intelligent so I'm not worried. (This is the 5th grader who studies astrophysics for fun). End of that story. The point is, the "concern," while valid, was misdirected.
How many times do we do that in our own lives? We react to the surface problem without going any deeper. In this case when I went deeper, I found it to be a non-issue. How many problems are really "problems" anyway? The degree to which something is a problem really relates to how much energy we're willing to put into it. How are you choosing to spend your energy?
Saying "no" is often a problem for women. By nature, many of us are polite, people pleasers because that's how we've been raised. Some of us do grow to the point of being able to tell others "no" regarding their demands on our time and energy, but what about those internal things that eat up so much of our life force? Let it go.
During my health coach training program through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition®, I had it in the back of my head that maybe I didn't really want to do health coaching professionally. What I was learning was immensely meaningful to me personally but who was I to do this work with others? I'm not perfect. How can I "coach" others when I have my own demons? (Yep, another story to disown).
After graduating and as time has gone by (and yes, after a lot of reflection), I see that there are so many who could benefit tremendously from this work. Through the spiritual work I've done with my "sisters," (especially Becky and Rue) and the amazing experiences I've had in my health coaching studies, it's been validated time and again that sometimes what we really need, and what's most inspiring and life changing is to be in the presence of someone who stands solidly in her own truth (good times, depression, anger and all) and has the courage and compassion to guide you to gently find yours. So many women lack having a community of strong, supportive, non-judging women in their corner. We isolate ourselves and wonder why we don't feel right. Something's "off" inside but we can't quite say what it is.
So again, I brave the unknown and choose to stand in my truth. What will I mirror for you? What is it that I really want? What is it that you really want? I'll tell you this. I have immensely enjoyed this time away from work and school. Being home is important right now. It feels good to be home. If I could travel anywhere in the world today, I wouldn't. I'd rather be right here, right now. That's a good place to be.
